he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
