Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize