I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize