Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
