I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
