Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
