the day after is always just damage control
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
