Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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