I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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