you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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