We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
