in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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