I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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