i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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