No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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