my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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