Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
