I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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