It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize