I seem to have left my pride at pride
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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