Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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