yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
