these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize