Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so that wasnt chicken after all
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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