i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
