You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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