I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
