You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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