Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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