He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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