the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
