I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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