Someone shit on the floor
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
