I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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