i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
