I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
