I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize