i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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