My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
