i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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