Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
