four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
