Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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