She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
