So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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