I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
