dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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