your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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