I'm lost and stupid without you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
