I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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