ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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