i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
