I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
