I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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