so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
