I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
