Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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