I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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